Saturday was St. Patty’s day. And in NYC that means that all the little douchebags who can’t really hold their alcohol, decided to test that theory along with their livers. That’s fine. But why do you have to test your balance also? I mean, stay inside, stop roaming the sidewalks like you’re auditioning for a zombie extra in the Walking Dead… Because darlings and dollfaces… You got the part!
That being said. I must give credit where credit is due, and while I really was hoping that the scourge of the sidewalks would just wipe away, I did get to see someone at least, maneuver, like a boss.
Cue the drunken girl
Cue the heels
Cue the pole as part of the scaffolding.
And cue her face, smashing into it. Her forehead melding with the cold metal…
And finally… cue my gasp… then my complete and utter disbelief as she stepped backwards, without registering a bit of pain, and continued on her way… her shuffle reminiscent of Bernie’s from Weekend at Bernies…
Sure, she fell into a metal pole. But that metal pole didn’t stand a chance against her slosh.
Party on drunk girl. Party on.